Findings of an Undercover Student Employee
4/21/2020 10:35:00 AM | The Well
Hey Catamounts! This is "Allie", from the Campus Rec Student Marketing Team. (Real names have been changed to protect the innocent.) I know that current events have been very stressful, but we here at Campus Rec are working hard to keep you moving and in the loop. I had planned to write an over-the-top April Fool's Day post, but once I started my role at Campus Rec, I realized that the truth is funnier than fiction. So, here's my in-depth report for April 21, 2020.
The following letter details my findings in my time undercover as a student employee. I'm afraid this letter must remain anonymous, as I'm still hiding out in one of the squashball courts. (Did you know we have squashball courts? Neither did I, until I had to abandon my previous hiding place of the rafters above the basketball court.)
Anyways, this 100% definitely real and accurate information was confidential, admin's eyes only, but I think the world needs to know.
Written by: "Allie O'Connor", UVM '21
Date: April 21, 2020
The following letter details my findings in my time undercover as a student employee. I'm afraid this letter must remain anonymous, as I'm still hiding out in one of the squashball courts. (Did you know we have squashball courts? Neither did I, until I had to abandon my previous hiding place of the rafters above the basketball court.)
Anyways, this 100% definitely real and accurate information was confidential, admin's eyes only, but I think the world needs to know.
- We all know about the Forbush pool, but did you know that there's another pool in the swim coach's office?
- If you knock three times on the fitness center desk and say the password, Rally Cat will appear and grant you your greatest wish. It's really too bad we forgot to write down the password…
- Rumor has it there's a herd of intramural kickball players lost in the hallways between the pool and the rink. If you see them, don't make eye contact.
- One of the treadmills in the fitness center isn't real. They move all the equipment around every night so the fake treadmill is never in the same place.
- Intramural Sports referee training consists of watching every AirBud movie in a row, and nothing else.
- One of the hockey players told me that all of the advertisements on the hockey rink boards spell out a secret message in a language that doesn't exist anymore.
- Sometimes we put up posters for events that aren't happening, just to keep you on your toes.
- If too many people named Kyle are in the gym at once, we have to close immediately. No one knows what the limit is, unfortunately, but we hit it more often than you'd think.
- Happy April Fool's (+20) Day! We miss you Catamounts!
Written by: "Allie O'Connor", UVM '21
Date: April 21, 2020
Tuesday, April 14
Monday, October 27
Wednesday, August 27
Tuesday, August 26
